LFM - Adventure Camp

This is a team for the Chicago lan tournament. The name takes no inspiration at all from

Requirements and Rules:

must speak English so we can understand each other duh lol. No Spaniards allowed! My mommy and daddy would especially be upset if I invited somebody to my house and they couldn’t ask for some more food st the dinner table!

Must be okay with having LAN parties at my house to practice for the real thing.

Live in the Midwest of the USA, in either MICHIGAN, WISCONSIN, ILLINOIS, OHIO, or INDIANA.

Be able to drive to my house every Friday for the rest of the summer!

You cannot say the a word, the b word, the c word, the d word, the e word, the f word, the g word, the h word, the I word, the j word, the k word, the L word, the m word, the n word, the o word, the p word, the q word, the r word, the s word, the t word, the u word, the v word, the w word, the x word, the y word, the z word, hot, sexy, or atheist, because my mommy and daddy will get mad

Be committed!

Here is what a typical session will look like:


  • 6:00AM | leave for my house.

  • 12:00pm - 5:00pm | show up

  • 5:00pm | Welcome!

  • 5:30pm | Hydration Session 1 and Dinner at McDonalds (if you are allergic to burgers don’t join!)

  • 5:40pm - 8:00pm | Scrimmage

  • 8:00pm | Hydration Session 2

  • 8:05pm | Reflection on our scrimmages

  • 9:00pm | Prayer time to ask Jesus to show us the way

  • 10:00pm - 11:30pm| Scrimmage

  • 11:30pm - 11:50pm | late night trip out to Tim hortons because who doesn’t like a good donut.

  • 12:00pm - 1:00am | Strategize Session

  • 1:30am | Lights out! I get tired at 1:30am so go to bed quick boys!


  • 12:00pm | Wake up because we Stayed up LATE last night. Skip breakfast cause it’s past lunchtime.

  • 12:10pm-2:00pm | Excercise and Lunch! There is a McDonald’s a few miles from my house so we will run down to it, and order more burgers. This is dinner so make sure you carry home extras!

  • 2:00pm-2:30pm | Playtime! It’s super fun to play board games with friends so we will play some awesome board games like chutes and ladders, monopoly, and candy land! I also have the Minecraft card game that we can play if the boys behave.

  • 2:30pm-3:00pm | Bible study. We all sing songs to Jesus.

  • 3:00pm-3:05pm | Recover from the bullies on stratus who bully us because of our beliefs!

  • 3:05pm-5:00pm | Warm up! Do some 1v1s, I have a wrestling mat, and for those that want to take it to the next level, there’s some rifles in the garage.

  • 5:00pm-5:30pm | Hydration Session and Burger dinner

  • 5:30pm-7:00pm | Scrimmage.

  • 7:05pm | Lights out! We have to get up early tomorrow.

- 6:30am | Rose and Shine!

  • 7:00am | Pick our clothes to wear to church from my closet.

  • 7:15am | Eat breakfast. It’s not burgers this time. I only eat almond milk and Cheerios for breakfast.

  • 7:30am | Leave for church

  • 8:30am-1:00pm | Church! A little booklet with details is at the church.

  • 1:30pm | Arrive back home.

  • 1:59pm | Scrimmage and beat up the Minecraft bullies now that Jesus is helping us

  • 3:00pm | Everyone leaves my house after I give them hugs and cotton candy for their ride back home. My mommy and daddy talk to your mommy and daddy also.

That was an expected training session, if you think you can’t commit to that schedule for the summer, then dont even think about joining.

will you pay for my flight

No you don’t fly, you have to drive to my house

How am I going to drive across the Atlantic

Can i use motorcycle to get there

can this become even more american?

jk, best shitpost ive seen in a while

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